this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
