Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
