You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
