I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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