Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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