it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
