I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
