Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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