I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
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KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
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Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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