I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
