Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
