Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
