i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize