I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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