I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize