Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
