So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Never underestimate the power of titties
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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