it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
