I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
