My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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