BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
