I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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