i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
