She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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