So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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