don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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