I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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