god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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