you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize