the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
