It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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