so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
