No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
