I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
