I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I have feelings that need drinking.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize