woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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