Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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