i love accidental penises.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
