you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
