Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
