He told me they were just razor bumps!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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