We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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