i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
