Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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