I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
you made out with another girl for some wings
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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