Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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