@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
