david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
