just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
