DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
