Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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