I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
