Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He better not be in your backpack
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
