....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
