My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
