I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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