If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
