i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
