WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
