Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
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I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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