is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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